A Question of Incarnation
by I Heart Edward Cullen
Summary: He had died 1 year ago today. So why is this black haired man so familiar? IxK ON PERMANENT HIATUS
1. A Date that Lived in Infamy

A QUESTION OF INCARNATION

A/N: First Posted FanFic on this site, and the first that I actually intend to post the ending to. Please be kind. Will try and update every Saturday evening, but I will make no guarantees. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1 A Date That Lived in Infamy

It had been exactly one year, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,000 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds since the only man she hd ever truly loved had died in her arms from wounds acquired protecting her. Kagome was spending the anniversary of Inuyashas' death sipping a Pepsi at Wacdonalds and trying not to burst out sobbing and convince herself that it wasn't a good idea to hang herself on the blinds above the window on one side of the unassuming window of the fast food restaurant. She stared unseeing at the cars and people rushing by outside, those who were blissfully unaware of the pain threatening, and beginning to succeed, at crushing the very spirit right out of her.

'It's amazing.' The teenager thought, 'At just how little the troubles of another bother someone else.' The utter feeling of aloneness she had been battling with all year terrified her. No longer would her beloved hanyou rush to her rescue in the nick of time, then blush and stammer when she thanked him. No longer would she find him outside, checking up on her but not willing to admit it. No longer would she awake in the morning to find him sitting next to her bed, feigning sleep or glance outside her classroom window to see a flash or red and silver in the tree in the courtyard. Never again.

She glanced at her watch. 3:33 pm, September 13th. A moment of infamy. The exact time she had been born 18 years ago, when she first glimpsed Inuyasha 3 years past, the moment his last breath left his battered body 1 year previously. What Kagome didn't realize was that one more life defining moment was about to be added to that list. It was a shout coming from the kitchen off to her right.

"I'm done! I quit! You bastards just leave me alone- all of you!" There was a moment of silence, then a great clatter. "NO! I will not bloody shut up! No one cares! Not the damn customers you seem so concerned about scaring, that's for sure! And most of all- you! So just screw off!" A young man came tearing out from behind the counter, leaving a Wacdonalds apron and cap fluttering in his wake. He left his anger too, still tangible, even after the glass doors slammed shut behind him.

"His voice sounds familiar- do I know him?" Kagome murmured. Something about this boy intrigued her. She followed him outside, her sadness temporarily forgotten. She found him outside, trying to break his nametag in two. Kagome didn't immediately make her presence known. He continued to struggle, the unnatural plastic like substance refusing to even so much as crack. After a few moments he gave up and tossed it in front of a passing car. Even after it ran it over, thanks to his excellent aim, it came out literally without a scratch. He snorted and crossed his arms, leaning his back against the wall. After a moment he slid into a sitting position on the gum covered sidewalk and buried his head in his hands.

"What am I gonna do?" Kagome gave him a moment to compose himself then walked over and took a seat next to him. She then got a good look at him for the first time. He was well- muscled, a head taller than her, and his medium-longish boy cut was messy, his hair sticking straight up in some places and alternately lying flat against his head in others. His black hair, while at first glance ordinary, did not shine the normal dark brown or blue in the sun, but rather a bright silver. He glanced over, his beautiful features puzzled, and a gasp caught in her throat as she met his stare. An all-too-familiar gaze, stubborn, fierce, conceited at times, but concealing a deep pain and sadness that she never thought she'd see the likes of which again. The eyes she was looking into were a startling gold.

Adrian was rather confused. He had finally snapped. Yeah, his "uncle" had posted his bail, but he'd paid him back a month ago, and he was done doing all his dirty work for nothing. But this girl, the schoolgirl with the black hair and chocolate eyes, why had she followed him out? And why did she look so familiar? He was positive he had never met her. And most importantly, why did he suddenly feel so relaxed, calm...happy, in her presence? It made absolutely no sense. But one thing was clear. He didn't want to leave her, even if he didn't know why.

"My name's Kagome, Kagome Higurashi."

"Adrian Hasayuni." He replied reluctantly.

"May I ask what happened?" Kagome inquired gently coaxing.

"What, are you one of my uncles minions or something?" He asked, instantly defensive.

"No, I just want to help. Look, do you have someplace to go now if you and your uncle are fighting and you're out a job?" She was trying, but then, she should be used to this kind of behavior after all these years. "Will your parents take you?"

"My father was shot to death by a jealous ex-boyfriend of my mothers before I was born. My mom died of cancer when I was six." He replied, not looking at her.

"I'm sorry." Kagome murmured.

"No your not. You didn't know them. You don't know me. You say that, everyone says that, just because that's what they think is expected. So don't say your sorry if you don't mean it."

"But I do. I know how it feels to lose someone you love." She didn't know why she was opening up to this kid Adrian when she couldn't even bring herself to discuss Inuyasha's death with her school friends. "Look, if you have no where to go why don't you come live at my house? My family runs the Sunset Shrine and we occasionally accept boarders. You could pay us or work around the shrine if you don't have the money." She also didn't know why she offered- it just slipped out. They hadn't even had boarders since she was 8.

So he wouldn't end up on the streets. That was a relief. 5 years were quite enough, thank you. He relaxed and nodded. Kagome, she said her name was, smiled and got up. She offered him a hand to help him up as well. He ignored it and got up of his own accord. Not upset in the slightest, she began to lead him down the street on foot towards the Sunset Shrine as she called it.

She was quite strange, this Kagome chick. Besides the obvious mystery of her calming effect she seemed to have on him, he also wasn't intimidated. Everyone else got rather miffed when he refused to shake hands, or in her case, accept her assistance. And if that didn't do it, his blunt, short-as-possible-while-still-making-sense answers did. But neither even fazed her. She wa even humming a little as she led him through the crowded streets. He shrugged on his favorite red sweatshirt. He'd always been very partial to red clothes, even if it wasn't his favorite color, he never really knew why. It was beginning to get chilly in the evenings, but with the sweatshirt and his fairly thick black Jet t-shirt he was okay. He hitched up his jeans and jogged a few steps to catch up with her.

However, the fact remained that he was all to happy to follow Kagome. Not knowing more than her name and that of the shrine she lived at, he would have contentedly followed that long black hair, green skirt, white shirt and creamy legs to and off of the very ends of the Earth without a second thought. 'Just like some puppy.' He thought, somewhat disgustedly, even though he liked dogs. 'Ah well.' He gave up rationalizing his actions and simply kept following the girl. Totally unknown to him, a grin slowly spread across his face. Despite everything, the future wasn't looking quite so bleak.

A/N: Review, or I shall send my dad's psycho cat after you. examines mulitple bite wounds and scratches on hand. She's not very nice.


	2. Memories of That Which is Lost

A QUESTION OF INCARNATION

A/N: Chapter 2! Woot! Hopefully you will like. It's probably pretty obvious who the heck Adrian really is, and for those too thick to figure it out I won't tell you. For the rest, I hope he is properly in charecter. Kagome too. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is always appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, any of the charecters in the TV show, or any of the plot lines. So there.

CHAPTER 2 Memories of That Which is Lost

"So, this will be your room, right here." Kagome opened the door of the guest bedroom across the hall from her own. Her mother was helping out on a field trip of her brothers, and wouldn't be home until that evening. "The bathroom attached to it is all yours- no one else will use it. All we ask is that you keep both rooms reasonably clean. Because you can't pay, you'll need to help us out with some of the odd jobs around the shrine. At the moment, the old well house is going to need a new roof soon, and the garden out front needs to be replanted and weeded." She rattled off the pre-memorized speech distractedly. Something about Adrian unsettled her. In the back of her mind she knew exactly why, but she wasn't quite ready to admit it yet. Especially on today of all days.

"The room's fully furnished, as is the bathroom, and you'll be eating with my family, but you will need clothes. I assume they're all at your uncles house except what your wearing, right?"

Her only response was a pair of folded arms, a chin stuck in the air, and a small "Keh." She knew the gesture only too well. Kagome strode over to the room's closet, pausing before the closed door. She surveyed the innocent looking slab of wood, composing and bracing herself for the memories, until she felt Adrian's presence behind her. She slowly opened it, unable to stall any longer.

The few outfits inside it were completely ordinary at first glance. They were such that any teenage boy would wear outside of school, inconspicious, for anyone except the pale faced girl looking at them. She had stopped, her hand poised over a green Franz Ferdinand t-shirt, not quite able to pick up the garments that had hung untouched for a little over a year. Noticing her hesitation, Adrian took matters into his own hands. He reached out towards a golden yellow Hollister t-shirt, with an almost transparent white and gold pinstriped western shirt hung over it. "I like this one the best. Can I use it until-" Kagome couldn't move, couldn't speak.

"NO!" she cried, snatching the shirt out of his hands. She slowly sank to the floor, cradling the shirt, burying her head in it so he wouldn't see the tears streaming down her face. It was THE shirt. The shirt she had spent hours shopping for, just for him. It was his first article of "modern" clothing, and it had always been his favorite. She didn't even have to ask him to change before they went into town he liked it so much. He had worn it one their first and only "real" date, just a week before he had died in her arms. She remembered how closely it had matched his eyes, and how his hair was the same color as the stiching. Somehow, someway, his comforting smell still clung to the fabric, woodsy, smokey, evergreen all at the same time. She sobbed on and on, not seeing Adrian's horrified expression.

Naraku had attacked first. He grew tired of waiting, and went after the 4 warriors at his leisure, and his first strike just "happened" to fall on the night of the new moon, when Sango and Miroku were nursing their wounds in Kaede's village, 50 miles away, and both Inuyasha and Kagome were recovering from a previous battle. He had lost many of his jewel shards in a battle, and figured he'd kill two birds with one stone.

Naraku took his time, laughing softly, then increasingly louder as Inuyasha parried with him, slowed by both his wounds and weaker human state, unable to attack effectively because the Tetsusaiga refused to transform. Kagome could only watch on in horror, transfixed and paralyzed by fear.

Naraku was not content to simply kill Inuyasha, he wished for him to suffer. He would not grant him peace quite yet. His beady eyes caught on the girl. A smile spread over his thin lips as he glanced back at Inuyasha. His black hair was matted with blood, his left arm hanging useless, the bicep muscle severed, crimson dripping from his fingertips. Covered in too many deep gashes to count, a dark trail marking his progress, his sword shaking, it was an enormous fight to simply keep standing as blood loss began to take it's toll. Without even a premptive speech reflecting the deep scorn he felt for his victims (this had afterall, been his downfall before), he went for the young priestess.

Without even time to duck, time to think, she closed her eyes and braced herself. She imagined she was in shock, as she could not yet feel the pain, but the warm blood seeping through her shirt was proof enough that she had been wounded. She slowly opened her eyes, expecting the worse, and her soul shattered as she realized it was much more terrible than she had ever thought.

Inuyasha stood in front of her, in all his wild glory, Naraku's many appendages piercing him. His torso, arms, legs, nothing was spared except for his face. He glanced back at Kagome and smiled as Naraku retracted his weapons. It couldn't have been more than 30 seconds, but already a dark pool had formed beneath him. He smiled once more, and mouthed the words, "You'll be okay." at her, then attacked. It was the single most tragic thing she had ever seen.

Hours before the sunrise, with no hope of a last minute transformation saving them, he ran towards his adversary for the last time. He no longer made any effort to dodge his blows. Perhaps he already knew this was the end, and grasped that he might as well take Naraku with him. He no longer felt the pain. Only by throwing his caution, his safety, his very life away was he able to break through Naraku's many defenses, no longer aware or caring about the wounds be afflicted on him, and those already there. He fought in top form in spite of everything, desperation giving him new speed.

It was over in an instant. Inuyasha lept up, driving his tetsusaiga deep into the center of Naraku's trademark scar. The demon's face contorted in rage for the briefest moment before bursting into dust. Inuyasha landed lightly on his feet, looking completely normal for a small moment, and began to walk back towards Kagome. Each step became harder than the last, and only by using his sword to support him was he able to make it. He stopped in front of her, fighting to remain standing for just a moment more, then collapsed into her arms. They sunk to the ground together.

'How can anyone lose this much blood!' Flit across the girls mind. "Inuyasha!" Kagome breathed, hysterical. He grabbed her gaze desperately, and held it until she began to calm.

"Kagome. I'm not going to live to see sunset tommorow. I need to talk while I'm still able to. So just listen for a few minutes, okay?" She could only manage a small sob as she clung to him, tears running unchecked down her cheeks.

"Kagome, I've always loved you, and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before now, and that I'm leaving you all alone, or how I couldn't see how you were the only one I truly loved earlier. I know that you thought I loved Kikyo, not you, and I'm sorry I could never get up the courage to set you straight, make that first move, or just talk to you without getting embarrassed. I'm sorry I didn't spend every minute of every day cherishing you the way I should have, and I'm sorry I didn't let you go because you deserve someone so much better than a withdrawn, moody halfbreed. I'm sorry I never kissed you. I understand if you don't forgive me though, you have every right to, after what I put you through." An infinite wisdom, tinged with desperation and a feeling that made her knees weak, they all played in his violet eyes.

"Inuyasha. I forgive you- How could I not? Because, I love you too." Tears now ran down both their faces.

"Your birthday's tommorow...two years since you first met me...Present on bed." His speech lapsed now, the pauses growing longer and the words more incoherent. "Was I a good present...looking back?" She knew what he meant.

"The best I'll ever have." She replied, totally truthfully.

"I don't have much time...bodies giving up. Soul will leave. I'll find you...I swear. Wait?" His eyes were beginning to get glassy, but the question burned in them all the same. He was fighting valiently.

"I'll wait for you forever. I swear Inuyasha- I'll wait for you." He smiled, satisfied. With a colossal effort he reached up and pulled her down to his level.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear. The kiss was glorious, even if it was brief, even if she could taste his blood, even when she felt his soul leave his body.

Inuyasha managed to hang on for another day, not quite ready to give up entirely. Reverting back to his hanyou state allowed that, but he didn't wake up and he didn't heal. He was too far gone, and you can only heal so much. Kagome never left his side, stroking his hair and saying good bye, saying all the things she never had the courage to. She knew he would hear them somehow. Eventually the time came, and in the bright, cheery light of the sunny afternoon, in such sharp contrast with the battlefield around them and the dieing hanyou in her lap, he gave his last breath. His eyes snapped open as it left his body, and they darted to the sky for a moment, one last look to take with him. But they quickly darted to Kagome's face, and he smiled once more. He knew what the last thing he wanted to see was. His eyes remained on her as his heart stopped beating and the life left the amber orbs. She closed them for him and collapsed.

Sango and Miroku found them both shortly afterward. At first they thought they were both dead, but Kagome was technically alive, even if the look in her eyes was no longer living. Kilala flew his body back to Kaede's village, and the hanyou was given a funeral in grand style. Perhaps he would have felt embarrassed at so much attention, but they all felt he deserved the honor. As a last tribute to their friend, the demon slayer and monk built a funeral pyre at the foot of the sacred tree while Kagome cleaned him up. All three placed him upon it, no longer bloody, hair shining, his sword he lived and died by clasped in his hands. Only one thing didn't fit. He still smiled as he went up in a blaze of glory.

"It was strange," Sango would later remark, "at how Kagome didn't cry the entire time." When she asked her only reply was, "He'll be back, he'll find me. He promised." and that was all they could get from the grieving girl. And so she left the feudal era, the jewel shards entrusted to Sango and Miroku, the bottle now filled with ashes and a single lock of molten silver. A photo album laid, waiting for her, on her bed. All the pictures she had taken, drawn, had drawn for her, flowers she had picked. All carefully put together in one little book by clawed hands, perhaps unconciously knowing that he was giving her something to remember him by.

Somehow, Adrian managed to pry the shirt away from Kagome, hanging it back up carefully. As he stared at her sobbing on the floor of his new bedroom, he saw her too, sobbing on a bloody battlefield, covered in even more blood. He sunk down to her level, and wrapped his arms around her, softly, naturally, without really thinking about it. She sobbed into his chest, and his shirt got rather wet, but he didn't mind at all.

A/N: I can't say that I cried when I wrote this, because that would be a lie, but I hope it is about the only way that Inuyasha could have gone out. I can't picture him as an old married man surrounded by grandchildren with cute little ears- could you? Anywho- review or else. Maybe I'll let my horse have a piece of you. He bucked me off the other day. examines various bruised limbs He may look innocent- but it's all a facade.


	3. Frustration

**A QUESTION OF INCARNATION**

CHAPTER 3 Frustration

A/N: I really tried to make Adrian in charecter, I did, but it's harder when there's no one around for him to be argumentative with for most of the chapter... Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, any of the shows charecters or any of the plot lines.

Kagome eventually fell asleep, and he carried her to her bedroom across the hall. Adrian set her gently onto her bed, and straightened. Just like her presence, the room also made him feel calm. It also felt rather familiar. He could see her studying in the desk across from him, or sleeping on the bed as she was now. He also saw himself getting beaned in the head by the trashcan sitting in the corner, but that didn't make near as much sense. He glanced at her one last time, and noticed the bottle hanging around her neck. He was curious, it was pulling at him, but at the same time some instinct was telling him to leave it alone.

Adrian was tired as well, but he stubbornly stayed up until Mrs. Higurashi and Kagomes' younger brother returned from her younger siblings field trip. He then explained that Kagome had said he could board here in exchange for doing work around the shrine. The woman nodded in agreement, but she was looking at him curiously, trying to place him it seemed. He made his escape soon after.

Adrian lay in his new bed, tired, but his mind going around in circles far too fast for him to have any hope of sleeping. Not one to think too far ahead, he simply lived in the present, and took things as they were. Some people called it lazy, he just called it simple. When you can't change something, thinking about it only makes you wish you could, so there is little use for it. But this. This called for some major meditation. It was all too weird. This house, this girl, her mother, he had seen it all before. He knew the phrase "deja vu" was quite overused, but it was made for this sort of thing.

He eventually narrowed it down to several key questions.

1.Who as this girl, and why did she offer to let him stay? She didn't have to afterall, nobody really cared about him in the past, and she hadn't even run a background check. He could have been some druggie, or an escaped convict for all she knew (he was none of these things, but still).

2.Why did everything seem so familiar? Because Kagome was about his age, there was a chance he had run into her somewhere, but for him to have run into her mother too was highly unlikely in a city this big.

3.What was that bottle around her neck?

He figured if he could get answers to these questions, a lot more would make sense. It was a good starting point at the very least. He resolved to do some more exploring tommorow while he was working. Thus, at least a goal in mind, he drifted to sleep.

He awoke the next morning to a nice sunny day. Perfect for working outside. He walked downstairs to look for some signs of life. Adrian passed through the living room, noting the urn on the mantle, with the picture of an old man in a white shirt glaring at him next to it. Kagome's grandfather he presumed. He found a note on the kitchen table, telling him that the usual inhabitants of the house had gone out clothes shopping for him, and asking him if he could get started on the vegetable garden out front, and that the tools were in a shed in the backyard. That was nice of them. He really hadn't had any new clothes in a while, and he couldn't remember the last time he had owned a real pair of pajamas. He would need to find some way to pay back their generosity. However, the vegetable garden could wait. He needed to do some exploring.

He decided to start with Kagome's room, as it had seemed so familiar the previous night. It really didn't seem all that interesting upon first entering, just like any teenage girls room would probably look like. Not that he had really ever been in any, but still. Light, airy, the occasional touch of pink or clothing item on the floor here and there, it was decidedly her. However, the kinds of things he was looking for would not be found on the surface. Judgeing from her breakdown the previous night, something had happened to or with some guy about his age. Because she hadn't been willing to throw out his clothes, she wouldn't have been willing to through out any letters or photographs either. He was quite proud of having figured this all out, so, without further adieu, he began sorting through her stuff.

It didn't take him long to find a small, unmarked photo album underneath her bed, only with enough room for 20 or so photographs. It was filled though, and some unfamiliar flowers were pressed in between the pages, and there was even a few drawings in there, carefully folded. He looked at these first. One looked as though it was done by a small child, beyond the stick figure stage, but still not willing to give up the crayons for more grown-up drawing instruments. It showed a man in purple robes, his cheek red, smiling at a lady clothed in a black and pink suit who also looked to be barely containing a grin with her mock anger. Next to them was another lady, this one in a school girl outfit, waving, riding piggyback on a man with red robes and long white hair who was also smiling. In between them stood a child, a self-portrait of the artist, he assumed, petting a small yellow cat. But as he looked at it longer, small details began to dawn on him. Both the lady in black and the man in red carried swords. The child had a large, bushy tail. The man in purple was wearing the robes of a buddhist monk. And the red on his face was a slap mark. The cat had two tails. And the man in red had dog ears. Although these things could easily be disregarded as a flight of fancy by a young child, something about them felt real. He decided to move on to the photos, and look at the second drawing later.

It scared the bejesus out of him. There was only one roll of film contained in the album, but each picture brought something new. The man in purple was shown first. He was right in thinking he was a buddhist monk, he had done a report on them several years ago, and he recognized his staff. The lady in black appeared to be a fighter, and also the girlfriend of the monk. The subsequent pictures showed him hugging her, and then him groping her, and then him getting slapped. Neither appeared to be all that mad though. Then Kagome showed up. And the young child, who did indeed have a tail and unusually skinny legs, and the cat with red eyes and two tails. And the man in red. There was something about him. It gnawed at the edges of his mind, something fighting fiercely to be remembered, but not quite dawning on him. It was frustrating as hell. Why this all of a sudden? Why? It was important, he knew that, was that was unfortunately all he knew. It was _infuriating. _Yeah, these people could have just all dressed up for some costume party, but their tan lines matched up with what they were wearing (don't ask him how he noticed these things, he couldn't tell you), and he had had a cat once. No cat came with red eyes and two tails, he knew that, but you would NEVER get a cat to wear contact lenses and a prostethic willingly. And without tearing you to pieces in the process. The apocalypse would come sooner than that happened. And the man with dog ears didn't seem to even have normal human ones at all. Every logical part of his mind was telling him _it made no sense_ and yet it seemed so familiar, so real. So maddening.

But there was still several pictures left. The first was a wider shot, of all 4 teenagers and the child, in front of a tree. But not just any tree, it was the tree outside Kagome's window. They had the same large bald spot, midway up the trunk. But there was no fence surrounding it in the picture, nor was there any shrine built behind it. Kagome only appeared to be a few years younger in the photo at most, but the shrine that you should have been able to see behind the tree was at least 40 years old, it's roof falling in with age. It it had been built after the picture was taken it would be much newer. Surely it wasn't the same tree they were standing in front of- right? Then, picture after picture of the guy in red. With an impossibly large sword drawn, smirking. Scrowling. Face down in the dirt. He went to close the album when one last one fell out. Obviously taken by an amateur, a fingertip just showing in the corner and the camera slightly crooked, taken at night without the flash. It was the man in red, sleeping, sitting up against a tree, Kagome in his arms, just barely illuminated by the campfire in front of them, both with smiles on their sleeping faces. The edges of the photo were frayed, the corner was bent, and it was obviously treasured by this room's inhabitant.

The last drawing he found was of the man in red as well. This one was done by someone much older than the first drawing, with a practiced hand. He was sitting in the crook of a tree, staring out over the horizon, one leg dangling below him. The artist had obviously put much time into it. He carefully placed the album back in it's former position (he was good about remembering that kind of thing), it contents back in place. Kagome's breakdown was beginning to make sense. Something had happened between her and the guy in red, who had been her boyfriend once. What happened- that he didn't know.

He decided he needed a closer look at that tree and the grounds. He walked out the back door, intent at at least finding a trowel and hoe for the garden. The tree caught his eye first, it's leafy head seeming to touch the sky, and it stood with an ancient, noble grace. As he got closer he noticed that there was a fence around it. 'It must be that "Sacred Tree" I've heard about, then.' But that didn't matter much. He ran his hand along the spot where bark refused to grow, a scar where something sharp had once pierced the trunk. Then, he saw things

fire

fire

blood

arrow

pain

betrayal

sleep

loneliness

redemption

joy

the girl

so similar

Figments, pieces of a fragmented vision yet to be put together. He saw the man in red, pinned to this very tree, eyes closed, an arrow protruding from his chest, as completely and utterly alone as anyone could ever hope not to be. A name popped in his head. _Inuyasha._ Dog demon. Somehow he knew that was the red man's name. But instead of seeing the arrow penetrate the man's chest, like he had before, he felt a pain in his own. He jerked his hand away from the trunk, as though burned, and it instantly resided, to the point where he was left questioning if it had simply been all in his mind. But he knew one thing, and that was that something important had happened here. He plunked his butt down, intent upon not moving before he sorted this whole thing out, leaning his back against the inside of the corner post of the fence.

At first he directed his gaze heavenward. Gazing at the whispering leaves, he felt a strange peace settle over him. A solid acceptance. These visions, they were all real. As were the pictures he had seen, and the man in red, and the drawing had been of him sitting in this very tree. Impossible, but real. The leaves rustled, seemingly trying to tell him of what the ancient tree had paid witness to, but he was unable to understand. Frustrated, he looked to the base in front of him.

The first thing that caught his eye was a bouquet of flowers, placed on the ground in front of the tree. Red. He never could really tell one flower from another, but they were fresh. But something glinted, catching his eye as a small ray of sun fell upon it. It disappeared just as quickly, but that nagging in the back of his head was telling him it was important. 'Just SHUT UP already back there, yor're driving me slowly insane.' He told it, but waited impatiently for another break to show him it once more. There- another glint. He dug around it frantically, tossing the flowers aside. It was a lost cause without tools though, so he made an X over it, ignoring the dirt as it dug under his fingernails. "I really need to trim these," he muttered, "but it's time to do some gardening."

Adrian returned with the tools. It was a long object, caked in mud and ash, about4 feet in length. He eventually succeeded in freeing it, and carefully filled in the hole, stomping on it a few times and smoothing it with his hand so as not to be suspicious, replacing the flowers on top of the mark. He carried his prize over to the hose and proceeded to clean it.

He started at the bottom first, and it revealed wood of the deepest ebony, a long hollow tube of it. There was a large crack about half way down, but it was patched with wax of some kind. He continued to clear away, showing a handle of some sort, covered in a half rotten cloth wrap, falling away from it, and a golden tip, the glint that had caught his eye. He held out the now clean object in front of him, and it became clear. He had just found a sword. A very old sword.

A/N: Voila! Review or I'll have my fat, furry, 1200 pound horse"accendentally" snap his head up and catch you in the chin! Just kidding- or am I? Maybe I'll just have Fluffy (yes, that is actually my dad's cat's name) do my dirty work.

Glances at cat out of corner of eye

Flames surround it and horns and fangs adorn it's head.

Looks at it directly.

"Mew."

Pink sparkles dance around it now.

I'm onto you... "Fluffy." If that's really your name... More like- Satan!

Fluffy: "Mwahaha! I shall kill you all!"

P.S. Thank you for all the reviews! Sorry for missing my deadline starts swearing under brath about relatives and computers so I'll post an extra chapter to make up for it. Sorry!I have 20 reviews now! Wow! O.O I can't mention you all, but special thanks to Miko no Kaze and firyfeline for being there for me since the VERY beginning.


	4. Of Scars and Birthmarks

**A QUESTION OF INCARNATION**

CHAPTER 4 Of Scars and Birthmarks

A/N: Chapter 4- Woot! This ones not my favorite myself, kinda slow if you ask me, but it has some important stuff in it, so it's necessary. Just consider it a brief break before it really gets going.

Kagome was a pretty good shopper if she did say so herself. She could find all the sales, still manage to get name brands, and without too much walking even. Her mom had a rare talent for knowing people's sizes by just looking at them, so she wasn't concerned about the clothes not fitting Adrian. What she was trying not to notice was that he was the same size as Inuyasha, and that the last time she had gone shopping for someone else had been for the fashion-challenged hanyou. Heck, that had been the last time she had gone shopping period. Shopping for herself hadn't held much appeal when she wasn't trying to impress anyone, or cared about what guys thought. It had been a long time since she had felt that way.

She lugged her bags out of the car over to where Adrian was hard at work in the garden. He was currently concentrating on weeding the western corner, so his back was to her. She called him over. "Hey, you there! Mud man! We have some presents for you!" For some reason she felt rather cheerful. She didn't really know why. He strode over, noting the bags in her hands.

"You didn't have to do this you know." He said.

"Yeah. I did." They both were silent for a moment, remembering. Those clothes were special, even if they did fit him. They both knew it. "My mom's getting ready to cook dinner- why don't you go shower and try some of these on." Kagome said, making an attempt at alleviating the now tense atmosphere. He seemed to appreciate the effort and smiled back.

"Thanks. I'll be down in a bit." He pushed his sweaty black and yet not black hair out of his eyes, only succeeding in making it more unruly than before. The amber eyes met the chocolate brown ones. Kagome's breath caught in her throat and she broke away from his gaze, picking up his bags from the ground. He thankfully left then, and she went in to help her mother.

* * *

Man, that gaze of hers held so many secrets. It was so familiar. He pushed it from his mind, as the distraction was bordering on the point of being dangerous and climbed in the shower. The cool water cut through the sweat and dirt and cleared his head. For just a moment he felt like his old self again. It was a good feeling. Coming to the Higurashi shrine was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time, if only for the sake that he had decent, cheap, room and board. But he knew there was much more to it than that. Never one to believe in fate, his faith was being sorely tested. Shaking such thoughts from his mind he toweled off, wrapping it around his waist, exiting the bathroom to examine his new wardrobe, which he had lacked the foresight to bring into the bathroom with him.

* * *

Kagome came down the hall with a fresh load of towels. She knocked on his door. "Adrian- I have some fresh towels for you-" she shouted. Hearing no answer she once again called out, "Adrian?" She still heard no answer, so she entered. She stifled a gasp. Man- He was _hot. _The muscles- She dropped her load, seeing he was clothed only in a towel (yeah, well, a bath sheet. She hated small towels. There wasn't a single one in the house except the one she used as a turban for drying her hair.). She mumbled an apology and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her. She leaned against it, gasping. He had a birthmark in the upper right part of his chest. In the exact same place Inuyasha had had a scar- from where Kikyo's arrow had held him to a tree for 50 years.

* * *

"That... was... interesting." Adrian mumbled, more to himself than anyone. He continued pawing through the bags. A set of flannel pajamas, for the winter months that were soon approaching, but a lighter set of pajamas that consisted of shorts and a tank top. A pair of board shorts, doubling as a swim suit. A few pairs of jeans of varying shades. Several t-shirts (one he noted to be golden yellow), another red sweatshirt and a jacket. A pair of skateboard shoes, a pair of boots, and a pair of leather flip flops. They even thoughtfully provided a couple packages of underwear (he blushed at the thought of some girl he had met just the day before buying him underwear, but still marveled at it. 'How did she know I wore boxers? I guess it's like the tootsie pop commercials- the world will never know.'). All told, it would have come to a total of AT LEAST several hundred dollars. They hadn't been stingy, everything was of good quality, and almost everything was brand name. The generosity of these relative strangers never ceased to amaze him. They opened their home to him, spent very large amounts of money, and yet all they asked in return was that they help them with some of the grunt work around their house. He would do all he could in return.

His stomach rumbled, awaking him to reality. He remembered that he hadn't eaten lunch that day, as he had used his lunch break up snooping around, and even working through it he had had to rush to make it look like he been in fact working all day. Some part of him felt like a real jerk for betraying their trust like that, but a larger part told him that he somehow had a right to it. Don't ask him how. He quickly donned the golden yellow t-shirt and the darker pair of jeans and ran downstairs.

"Wow Mrs. Higurashi- how did you know ramen was my favorite!" Adrian remarked between rather large mouthfuls. All 3 Higurashi's were staring at him, but he preferred to think it was because of the vast quanitity of food he was consuming. When he had finally had his fill he excused himself to the kitchen and began washing dishes. Kagome followed him.

* * *

"But Mom! He looks just like Inuyasha! He eats just like Inuyasha! He even, out of all those shirts, picked out that one just like Inuyasha's old favorite! Ramen is his favorite food! How can you tell me it isn't him?"

"Honey, Inuyasha died a year ago."

"No! He didn't! I know he didn't!" Mrs. Higurashi pulled her son close.

"I know it's hard, Sota, but sometimes all the wishing in the world can't make something happen."

"It's not fair! Kagome said he he said he would be back!" Then something occurred to him.

"You said sometimes. Maybe wishing CAN make something happen. Maybe it did." Sota stopped crying. His mother held him. There was nothing to say.

* * *

"So- is..umm...everything...umm...satisfactory?" Kagome asked Adrian. She was putting the leftovers away, he was loading the dishwasher. It worked.

"Yeah. It's all great." He replied, turning his attention delibrately to rinsing off an already quite clean plate. "Thanks."

"Don't worry about it. It's worth it, this place is falling down around our heads since we haven't had any guys around to help with the upkeep. My grandpa died 2 years ago- it was kind of his job, and none of us really could ever quite get the hang of it." She stared into the depths of the fridge. The awkwardness was tangible.

"So, umm, tell me a bit about your family. And yourself. I don't really know a whole lot. I mean, I did only meet you yesterday." A voice in the back of his head was telling him, 'That was exactly the wrong thing to say, moron.' but he selfishly ignored it. He wanted information.

"My mom and Sota are about my only family. My dad died a long time ago, and you already know about my grandfather. I haven't seen any of my other relatives in years, they all live over on the mainland. Gets kind of lonely sometimes, you know? But it's all right. It's been that way for a long time now."

"Yeah, I do know." Neither met the others gaze. "Any friends, boyfriends...?" He cringed as the word slipped out. Who was he to ask her something like that? _Why did he care?_

"I had a few friends at my old school, but we really haven't talked lately." He noticed that she didn't answer his second question. 'So I was right. That guy in red-_ Inuyasha-_ was her boyfriend, not a family member. And something happened.' A small smile threatened to slip out, but he didn't let it. He didn't want to be too cruel, but a part of him that he really didn't want to address was glad that there was no competition.

"What about you?" Kagome asked.

"Me? Well, as I said before, my mother and father were very happy for all of about 6 months after they married. My mom's ex, from what I heard not the most stable of guys to begin with, got wind of her marriage and it drove him over the edge. He killed my father in a drive-by shooting. He was later convicted of pre-meditated murder and given a life sentence. My mom never quite got over it, and her friends later told me that they could just watch her waste away. The doctor's called it cancer, but either way she died before my 7th birthday.

"My uncle took me in, but he didn't really inherit my mother's kindness. He managed to keep me locked up until I was 12, but I escaped eventually. The streets were hard, but it was better than my average daily beating. At least there I deserved whatever punishment was handed out to me. The cops caught me back in March trying to walk off with a sleeping bag. My uncle appeared out of nowhere and posted my bail. I had about paid it off after 5 months, but he forced me to keep working at his restaurant, and kept waving paperwork at me, saying he could get me arrested for again for some reason or another because I was still 17, and a minor. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, and on the day of my 18th birthday I stormed out. You know the rest." He didn't look at her, but he kept his tone offhand. He had a lot of practice.

* * *

'How can he talk about such hardships so easily? He talks about it like stocks, or the weather, or some other boring, mundane topic. Not at all like one would expect someone to talk about that kind of a childhood.' Kagome thought. But she knew better. He was hurting much more than he let on to anybody. Inuyasha had put on the same act, but she had found out long ago that it was just that- an act. Then realizing that she had been scrubbing on the same spot on the counter for the past 5 minutes, and that Adrian had long ago finished loading the dishwasher, they exited the kitchen without another word.

* * *

Adrian returned upstairs after saying goodnight for another look at that sword he had found earlier. Like _everything else_ at this stupid shrine, it had been pulling at the back of his mind all day. He was beginning to get a bit tired of this whole Something-Important-Has-Happened-Here/With This/With Them-And-You-Need-To-Remember-It-But-For-Some-Reason-You-Can't business. But, he pulled it out from under the bed and sat down. "What the hell am I supposed to do with _this_?" He mumbled with as much disdain as he could manage. He needed to keep some pride. But he was not very keen on just hanging his find up on the wall. He cleared a bit more grime away from the edge of the sheath where it met the hilt pensively. He put one hand on the handle. It felt very comfortable in his hand, but it was more than that. He felt more..._complete s_omehow. More himself, if that was even possible. He grabbed the sheath with his other hand. That hand too seemed to belong in that very spot. He pulled, and the sword slid out like butter despite being buried for 500 years. And with that simple action, he kissed the life that he had known goodbye.

A/N: Ooohh... cliffy. I'm so mean. But don't worry. The story really starts cracking after this. But I'm afraid you may want some tissues with you. And no, I'm not some kind of sadist. You'll see, you'll all see! Bwhaha! They shall all rise above the loss, the death, the fear, above themselves to find happiness. It'll all be alright in the end. Yeah, it's going to get rather grim, but it'll get better. The day would not seem nearly so bright without the night preceding itwaxes profound Just wait. But it the meantime, get some tissues.

P.S. Review or else I shall...hmm...have my horse step on your foot. Yeah. That hurts man...winces I swear, they just do it to hear all the funny noises we make, because they step on you and then won't move for a few minutes. It SUCKS. Note: If you value walking, never wear flip-flops near a barn...

P.P.S. Here's the extra chapter promised for being late! Sorry! Ch. 5 & 6 may be a while, they're all written out but need extensive revison because at the moment they don't make much sense (think, villians randomly rising from the dead and slaughtering people for no reason) and it sounds like a bad spy novel. But no worries!


	5. You Can't Escape Your Past: Part 1

**A QUESTION OF INCARNATION**

CHAPTER5: You Can't Escape From Your Past: Part 1

A/N: Another sad chapter. What I tell ya'? But it'll get better. The fluff is coming. Just not right now. And someone you'll remember will show up next chapter, but they are not mentioned in this one. So yeah.

He remembered everything now, discovering his sword had taken care of that. At some point and time he had been that hanyou, 'No.' He mentally corrected himself, 'I _am_ that half-demon.' And somehow he had been given a second chance to get all the things he had given up by sacrificing himself. It became both the curse that made everyday a living hell, and yet provided the only reason for him to go on living. But, another lifetime had granted him with signifigantly more patience than he had previously, and he had to admit himself, if a guy you had known for less than a week had walked up to you and said he was the reincarnation of your dead boyfriend, you'd probably just slap him and run far away. So. He was stuck. And it wasn't a particularly nice place to be stuck in.

After much thought Adrian decided the only thing he could do was keep up the act. Maybe after she trusted him a bit more he would have more options. With this plan in mind he ventured downstairs the next morning. The first thing that he noticed was that Kagome was gone. At first he thought that she wasn't the only one, but he found her mother and brother a moment later. Both sat ashen-faced in front of the news. He walked up and took a cautious seat in the armchair beside them, anxious for some reason that he could not define.

The newscaster was standing in front of a bulldozer, in what looked to be a construction site, swarming with men in lab coats and uniforms. "This miraculous historical discovery has changed the viewpoint of many historists around the country, making previous unknowns in many historic texts fit when this manuscript is assumed to be true. It also proves the existence of demons in feudal Japan, and shows potential for some to have survived to the present day. The tomb was unearthed during construction for a strip mall in downtown Tokyo, near 34th street..."

Adrian paled. He knew where Kagome was now. He grabbed his portable radio and earbuds and ran out the door, the news station turned on before he had even rounded the corner.

"The remains in the tomb are being examined on site by forensics experts, very few details have been released as of yet. We do know that the two humans were a male and female, around the age of 20. The bodies are in excellent condition, 'They look like they could get up at any moment, and start looking around and asking questions about why we're disturbing them.' one eye witness recounts, but the source of their preservation is still a mystery, as there is no evidence of them having been embalmed, frozen, or encased in amber, which are the only other methods at this time of preserving bodies this effectively.

"The manuscript was found in a pottery jar near the male, and in a matter of a few hours it has leaked onto the internet in it's entirety. It tells of a half-demon named Inuyasha..."

What little color was still in Adrian face left that moment. He was approaching the intersection with 12th street. 'Only a few more blocks to go... It can't be...It can't be.' He didn't want to hear it, but he kept listening.

"...and his quest in defeating the demon Naraku, along with a young monk, demonslayer and a priestess, who was apparently from the present day. This priestess is of particular interest, as she is said to have brought supplies from her time to the others in the feudal era. Although this modern day priestess seems only to be a flight of fancy, the case of lip gloss found on the person of the female was released only last year by the American company, Lip Smackers, but testing has proved it to be over 500 years old.

"Already the web sites featuring the manuscript have had over a million hits in a matter of hours, the tragic story of the hanyou's demise and his love affair with the mysterious priestess has become a countrywide obsession, and already several men have come forward claiming to be- Wait! A young woman has stumbled onto the site, and she matches the description of the priestess! Excuse me, Miss!"

Adrian had almost reached the construction site at this point. He could just see it in the distance, the tops of the front loaders and bulldozers barely visible above the heads of the masses of people already surrounding it. He ripped the earbuds off, shoving the mass of wires in his pocket. Only one thing was on his mind, and that was Kagome. It drove him forward through the crowds of people, and he leaped the police barrier, not hearing the men's shouts as he ran toward the young woman crouched in the shadows ahead of him. One policeman attempted to stop him.

"This is a restricted area, sir, I need to ask you to get back behind the barrier, please." He demanded, his tone betraying the mock politeness of his words as he grabbed Adrian's arm.

"Get off me you bastard! That's Kagome over there!" He took advantage of the man's surprise and wriggled out of his grasp. He slowed to a walk as he picked his way down the makeshift chipboard ramp into the partially unearthed room. It only contained a rough stone block, about 3 feet high, resting in front of the wall farthest away from him. The two bodies sat on top of it, leaning against the wall behind them. The man in purple robes had his arms wrapped around the woman, his beautiful face contorted in such grief and pain that he could hardly bear it. The woman's was peaceful despite the gaping wound in her chest. The pottery jar, sitting beside him, was presumably where the manuscript was found. The Hiraikotsu and staff leaned on the wall beside them, both covered in blood. As the stared, the ancient bloodstains covering the floor and the stone slab became apparent as well. He finally found his voice.

"No...N-Not Miroku and Sango too...No..." He mumured, struggling to hold back his tears. 'Men don't cry.' He resolutely thought, memories he didn't want to see playing on the inside of his eyelids. The familiar Grope/Slap/Laugh routine, the way they would gaze at each other when they thought no one was looking, how they would shield one another in battle, oblivious to the danger, and occasionally fell asleep leaning on each other when they were supposed to be keeping watch. But the look on the man's face was enough to make anyone cry. The feeling of loss, pain, and love displayed on it was as fresh as that fateful day 500 years ago, it something that every person that has ever loved could empathize with, regardless of what age they lived in, that indescribable feeling of loss that only comes when part of your very soul is ripped away. Very few people could truly understand such a feeling of complete and utter loss, but he was one of them.

Kagome eventually noticed Adrian, standing behind her, unable to take another step, frozen in place. She didn't look at him, just kept petting the small, cold, bundle of golden fur in her lap, the tears running down her cheeks the only sign of her grief, her voice was a simple monotone, devoid of all emotion.

"They died this way. One of Naraku's incarnations was intent upon finishing his master's work, and decided to attack the village where Sango and Miroku had made their home. Miroku was by himself at the time of the attack, Sango and Kirara were back at their house. The demon badly injured him, stealing the jewel from his unconscious body and later using it to resurrect his master. He then went and slaughtered the whole village, including Sango and Kirara when they tried to protect it. Miroku woke up to smoking ruins and dead bodies. He was the only survivor. He used his powers to preserve Sango and Kirara's bodies and buried his neighbors.

"He didn't really intend to keep on living, even after he had physically healed. His kazanna had returned, and it was getting bigger everyday. But he didn't care much. He didn't have any purpose, any reason to go on living, after Sango was killed. He wrote down all our adventures and preserved them as well, somehow hoping that by providing a record he could provide meaning to all our sacrifices, since we were unable to to stop Naraku. Maybe prevent someone else from making the same mistakes as us and getting killed as well.

"When he finished he built a tomb. He placed his wife and love, Sango, her faithful companion, Kirara, his writings, and their weapons in it, finally taking his place as well. He hadn't been the flirty monk we had all known for a long time. Miroku's only purpose had been to be there for Sango, and after he had lain her to rest he had no reason to go on. He used the last of his powers to preserve himself while he wept, finally ending his pain and effectively commiting suicide. And here they have rested until today."

* * *

A/N: No yelling at me for being late! I DID say in the A/N for my first chapter that my usual update time would be late Saturday evening, and I had something going on then. The only reason I was able to churn so many chapters out previously was because I was on winter break, and had a lot of time on my hands. So! The pressing question. I can't decide... when Inu- I mean... Adrian, and Kags finally go back to the feudal era, should I have Sango and Miroku there? Or should they be dead already? I have an explantion for if they are alive, but you'd have to deal with a big speal on crossroads in time, which you may decide is simply not worth it. But if they're dead, the plot may move along a lot quicker, and the battle sequences (ugh.) would be a bit smoother because I would have less people to keep track of. And then there's the whole revenge deal. I will be writing a Sango/Miroku AU fic after this one, so you will get your fluff quota, it will simply be delayed a bit. But then, there is a lot to be said on Sango and Miroku (hooray! The man in purple is my favorite!) so it's your decision- I don't have much of an opinion either way. I can't finish the chapter after this until I get an answer, so review or I can't update! This is your chance to make your thoughts heard, and have this story work for you, so REVIEW!

Also, fluff will be showing up soon, so be aware! (throws waffles in air and cheers)


	6. You Can't Escape Your Past: Part 2

**A Question of Incarnation**

CHAPTER 6: You Can't Escape Your Past: Part 2

A/N: Ta-dah! Late saturday evening, the week following the last posting. I feel like such a good little authoress, updating on time. Heck- I'll even throw in a disclaimer! My, I'm sure feeling charitable this evening...

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, any of it's charecters, or plot lines. Just the time waster below.

* * *

It was all too much. Kagome felt the guilt, the grief, they were crushing her. Inuyasha had died because she hadn't been able to protect herself from Naraku. Sango and Kirara had been murdered because she had selfishly left, leaving them to defend themselves on their own. And Miroku had killed himself because of the grief brought on by all this. And not one of their sacrifices had meant anything, because Naraku just came back yet again. Everything she touched suffered. She was cursed- she didn't deserve to go on living. She had caused all this. Sango and Miroku deserved better. "They we're supposed to grow old together. Have a ton of kids, and live their lives with the family that had been denied to them earlier, to die happily of old age, surrounded by those that loved them. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why? _Why_?" For the first time her control over her emotions slipped, because she knew the answer.

* * *

It was so hard to not burst out right there and tell her. But he knew it would only cause her more pain, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. So he bit his tounge and gently took the small, furry, bundle from her limp hands, placing it back in Sango's lap. He knew that was where Kirara would have preferred to be. He gently pulled Kagome away from the tomb and into the bright daylight, sitting them both down onto a slab of concrete that had once been a sidewalk, yet to be cleared away. As she sobbed into his shoulder a man walked up to them, nonchalant despite the chaos surrounding them. The sun was behind the figure, all Adrian could see was a silouette. Unaware, his hand grasped as the air along his right hip, instictively looking for a sword that was no longer there. "Back for round 2, '_Sir?'"_ He spat out the title with as much disgust as he could muster. He loathed that police officer, the nerve! Didn't he know who he was messing with? "As you can see, I'm a bit busy at the moment, so you can just screw off." He glared at the black outline, shielding his eyes with the hand that wasn't busy trying to keep Kagome from collapsing entirely. 

The man gracefully took a seat next to him, unintimidated. He smiled, the sun glinting off his chestnut hair. "Haven't changed a bit, have we?" He said, smiling, exposing slightly pointed canines. He looked to be about his age. His eyes softened as he took in Kagome's weeping form on Adrian's other side. He got up and sat next to her now, pulling her off of Adrian.

"You bastard! What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled. The man didn't even have the decency to look at him. The stranger gently grasped Kagome's chin, lifting her face to look at him.

"Remember me, Mom? I've gotten a bit bigger, haven't I?" Kagome's eyes widened, and she fell against his chest.

"Shippo."

* * *

Rather guility she would later remember that her first thought had been, 'Well, at least I didn't end up killing everybody.' But, regardless of her first reaction, she was escatic to see the long-lost kitsune. 

Shippo glanced down at himself. "Grew a little in 500 ears- haven't I? Doesn't really matter though. Kagome- are you alright? I know this is a bit of a shock, it was for me too afterall, but then, I've had quite a bit more time to think about it." Tears glistened at the corners of his eyes. "Sango and Miroku died an honorable death and they both went to it willingly, fighting for something they believed in with all their hearts. Don't blame yourself for something that was out of your control, okay, Kagome? This was their decision. They could easily have run away, but it would have meant that the demon would have slaughtered their village. The lives of the people they cared about meant far more to them than their own. I repeat, _don't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault._"

Kagome sniffed a bit. Shippo's words, his very presence comforted her. He was different, no longer the young child she had once known, but he was still the same caring person, if a bit wiser. For just a few moments she felt like she had a year ago. But, the grief came crashing down on her once more. Even if Shippo was right, and it really wasn't her fault, the fact still remained that two of her best friends had been murdered and she had never even known.

Adrian was frozen. His world was crashing down around his ears now that he could actually step back for a moment and actually take the time to think about what had just happened. Shippo had somehow survived Naraku's slaughter- and was sitting in front of him- a young man. Sango, Miroku and Kirara had been killed. And worst of all, Naraku now had the almost complete sacred jewel and had suceeded in regenerating himself. But Shippo jerked him from his thoughts.

"'_Adrian,' _will you plase come talk with me for a moment?" Shippo pulled him aside, the carefully controlled look in the kitsune's eyes slipping. He led him just out of earshot of Kagome, but where Adrian could still keep an eye on her. Shippo read the confused look on his face immediately. "Yeah, I know it's you Inuyasha. Really, grasping for your sword and swearing at me before you even knew who I was, it was a dead giveaway. That and those golden eyes. I bet Kagome's glad to have you back though- right?"

Shippo easily read the answer that filled the silence between the two, spoken by his averted eyes. "I understand. That's your decision, and yours alone. However, there are more important matters to be dealt with. There still may be a chance."

Anger gave Adrian the courage to speak once more. "What! That bastard...he...he..._slaughtered_ them. He didn't spare a single person, he even went delibrately out of his way to cause Miroku pain. He didn't even have the decency to do it himself, he just made his underling do the dirty work. **_I'll kill him_**. That is the important matter here!" Shippo believed his promise. Anger dripped out his every pore. The kitsune knew it was time to come clean.

Adrian could barely hear Shippo's next words. "Sango knew the demon was coming before he got there. She forced me to go hide in the forest on the other edge of the village. I did as I was told. I-I regret that decision every day. I should have died with them, honorably, but I hid. _I should have died that day, but **I didn't**_." He looked up at the black-haired man, his face the personification of anguish. "I ran and ran, I couldn't even work up the courage to come back until a week later. By then, Miroku was just an empty shell, surrounded by the graves of his friends. I helped him construct the tomb for Sango and Kirara, but I kind of sensed that it was meant to house him as well. A few weeks later, while we were working together on the manuscript of our travels, he told me that he would have been a father in seven months." Tears ran down his cheeks, despite his attempts to hide them. Shippo was a child that had been forced to grow up too fast, and it was all too evident at that moment. The kitsune's eyes were pained.

"H-his face still haunts me. He-he had expected nothing, going through life knowing that he would die before his time, destined by some cruel trick of fate to remain only a danger to those around him. He pulled away, distancing himself from everything and everyone, but Sango brought him back. He literally defeated his demons, and for the first time in life, thought that he might actually have a chance at a happiness he had never even dared to hope for. And then it was all ripped away from him in the space of a day. Miroku was already dead when I got to him, a corpse that had been unfortunate enough to be assigned the duty of burying everyone else before he got to rest." Uncharecteristically, Adrian pulled Shippo into a brief hug, letting him truly mourn his friends after 500 years of holding in the pain and the guilt. They grieved together.

Shippo pulled himself together first. "Inu—Adrian, I said there might still be a chance. And there may be, if you go quickly. Time goes at a fairly even rate on both sides of the well, and Kagome's only been on this side of it for a year. That means that only a year has passed in the feudal era since you were...well...killed. _Miroku and Sango were murdered a year and a half after Kagome left._ If you go now, you can keep this all from happening." The kitsune looked up, hope in his eyes. "You can save them... you can save me."

Something in Adrian balked at the idea of going back. He could feel his pulse quicken. He ran his hands through his hair, the black glinting silver, the sweat slickening his palms making it stand up even more than it had been before. Shippo saw the fear in his eyes. "Please—You have to do this! Naraku, he was never killed by anyone else. He's been working his way up the politcal ladder all around the world ever since, starting wars, breeding corruption and hate. His goal is a third world war, nuclear war, to wipe out humanity. I think he's camped out on a tanker in the pacific somewhere, his hand on THE button. I can't track him down, and no one will listen. You have to destroy him when he was still weak, it's everyone's only hope. It's not just Miroku and Sango you'll be saving, but everyone else as well. _Please. _I know there are bad memories there! But this is bigger than you, or me, or all of us!"

The logic was working on him. And Miroku and Sango deserved better. The man sighed, almost able to watch whatever little of the life he had once known flit away from him. He felt a small stab of regret. His eyes darted around him, resting on a woman and her children, straining to see what was happening, a young boy and his dog, a man with a bouquet of roses walking away from the florists. They remained the longest on the beautiful black haired girl behind him. They were what mattered. "Keh. I'll said I was going to kill that bastard, and I wouldn't be much of a man if I let him get away- now would I?" He cracked his knuckles to illustrate his point, secretly enjoying the small sneer his lips curled into. Inuyasha was back.

* * *

A/N: Oh yes! Ah ha! It is good- ne? Adrian shall now be refered to as Inuyasha, except for when someone is talking to him. However, do not let that confuse you, because no one except Shippo has really figured it out. So yeah. Fluff will hopefully come next chapter, but it's not IxK. Gee- that pair is rather angsty, aren't they? I really need to do something about that... angst is bad. But then- that's why we have Miroku! Otherwise known as Mr. Comic Relief! Hurrah for Hug-A-Houshi Day (Just made that up. Hee Hee.)! The people have spoken--The monk and demonslayer live! So yeah, I can't really say that reviews make me update_ faster_ but they make me update on time! Oh wait- umm... I have a horsemanship clinic and some classes on said animals to go to next weekend.. so... I'll just try to post when I can. Be forewarned. I also have no more pre-written chapters, (like the 2 ahead I was for the first 4...) which also makes it harder. But anywho—Press the pretty purple button! It's my favorite color!Will update as soon as _possible._ Sleep is a bit more of a priority for me than most people.

A/N/N: Wow! 56 reviews! You people all rock! Sorry about having to stop replying to them all, but after winter break was over, it was time to choose. And I figured you'd probably prefer a new chapter out of the two. But thank you anyway! _**Over a 1,000 hits...**_ (faints)


	7. To Realize Oneself

**A QUESTION OF INCARNATION**

CHAPTER 7: To Realize Oneself

A/N: Ta-Dah! I did manage to update on time afterall!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, any of the charecters, or plotlines. Only the time-wasting nonsense below.

'It is one thing to acknowledge what one must do,' Inuyasha thought in a rare moment of clarity, 'And quite another to actually do it.' As much as he loved, treasured, cared for, and slightly feared (the anger of) Kagome, for once he was lost for words. And something this big was not anything he could simply brush aside, getting his point across crudely without letting down any of his inner walls down, by swearing or some such nonsense. Telling Kagome his true identity was something that required finesse, a true heart-to-heart conversation of how he really felt. And quite frankly, he knew that was not exactly his strong point. As much as it pained him, he would need to ask the fox for help. And while he didn't exactly relish the prospect, it was far better than the alternative. "Shippo- I...umm...I...need your...umm..."

* * *

"Yes?" Shippo responded politely. He was not stupid, he knew exactly what he was asking. He was simply enjoying his moment of power.

Inuyasha's answer was spoken so quietly he could barely hear it. He asked once more. "You need my...?" Ah, the fringe benefits of moral exploitation were wonderful. He would have his revenge for all those times he had been whacked upside the head.

* * *

"Help." Inuyasha heaved a sigh. It was of no use. "Can you just tell her that I read about what happened on the internet or whatever? I think the newscaster said that Miroku's mauscript was put on the web soon after it was discovered. Just tell her that you thought she could trust me enough to go with her to the feudal era. Fill her in on what happened while she was gone, I guess." He couldn't bear to meet the kitsune's eyes.

Shippo would not be distracted however. "She needs you there to support her. She's going through a lot. She gave everything up when she left the feudal era, and thought she would be able to move on with her life. And now it's all coming back to haunt her. Kagome is a compassionate person, and you already know that she feels responsible for what has happened. Do you really think it's fair to keep her in the dark just because you can't get up the courage to explain yourself?"

'Gee. Thanks Shippo. Like I already didn't feel like a total ass.' Inuyasha resisted the impulse however. But there was a limit to his patience. "Would you just do it?" He shouted. "I just...I just want to do what's best for her. And I don't think that's necessarily me." He tacked it on in a whisper. "Besides, do you think she can handle the truth at the moment?" He jerked his head towards her delicate form, silouetted against the noon-time sun, her shoulders slumped, legs dangling off the side of the concrete chunk, like that of a young child.

Although he didn't think it was the really the right thing to do, Shippo agreed.

* * *

Miroku sat relucantly in front of the demonslayer. "You need your bandages changed, and that's final. Now sit." Sango demanded. Miroku couldn't argue with a face like that. Not only did he fear her wrath if her chose not to obey, she was just so_ cute _when she was angry.

"I can change my bandages myself, you know." He murmured, more to himself than anyone as he took a seat in front of her. He knew it would do him no good.

"No. You can't." She muttered around a mouthful of safety pins. Before Kagome had left she had been using them to pin a hem of one of Sango's skirts, which she planned to shorten a few inches after she got tired of her complaining about the heat. The project had never been finished, but they certainly worked better than knots in the cloth bandages. They were one of the few things Kagome had left behind. They were all precious, goodness knows how much she treasured that lip gloss. "Look at how loose these are. How did you even keep them on your arm?" She gently unwrapped the layers of bloody cloth from his muscular arm, emitting a small gasp as she realized just how deep the gash was. It must have been 4 inches long, and an inch wide. It was huge.

"Sango?" Miroku asked, hearing her sharp intake of breath. He knew this would happen. Now she would feel guilty. But hey, better his arm than her stomach- right? Those bandits were nasty, throwing knives out of the trees without even a decent warning. Yeah, sure, rob people, he could understand that. He was willing to bet that at least 90 of them were simply farmers put out of work by the constant wars, just trying to get enough money to put food on the table for their families. But you just don't just chuck knives at random passerby out of the blue and try and steal from their corpses. Even bandits ought to have morals, at least to some degree. "Sango- what's wrong?"

What he was expecting was a sharp blow to the head for admitting his worry about her. What he got was a few drops of wetness falling onto his shoulder without a sound, her hand hovering an inch above his arm. The monk turned to face her.

* * *

Sango's bangs formed a dark curtain around her eyes, hiding them from Miroku's own inquistive ones. 'No,' she corrected herself, 'Worried.' She couldn't bear to tear her eyes away from the ground. It was too dangerous, this uncharted territory. She was so glad for her hair right then. It was a shield against the one thing she feared more than any demon. Herself. To see herself reflected back in those amythyst orbs, she could't face it. Is eyes only spoke of concern she didn't derserve.

* * *

Miroku's eyes softened. "Sango- I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He cringed as the words came out. He waited for her to tell him the opposite- she wasn't worried about him- why should she be? 'I don't deserve her. What have I ever done but betray her trust in me?' "Sango- stop crying. Please. I'm not worth your tears."

* * *

Her response was muted. "Yes, you are. You saved me. I'd probably be dead right now if you hadn't acted so quickly. And I never even thought to ask about how you are, or thank you. I'm the reason you're hurt." The words were coming out quickly, all wrong. She needed to stop now. It would only end in disaster. And yet her mouth wasn't responding to the paniced messages her brain was sending it. "Another three inches to the right and that would have your heart! Your lung! You could have died! Why did you do it? Why? Tell me! Why am I worth so much to you? Why does this keep happening? Why do you care? I'm nothing! I have no home- no family- no money! Why do I matter to you?" The confession came out faster and faster, the voice getting louder, until she was shouting at him, tears running down her cheeks as she finally lifted her gaze to meet his own. "Why?"

* * *

He gently lifted his uninjured arm, wiping the tears away from her beautiful face. "Because I love you." And he knew she understood. The bandages lay on the ground forgotten, as he pulled her into an embrace and she sobbed into his chest.

"I love you too." She murmured.

"I know."

* * *

A/N: Voila! Fluff! What I tell ya'? This chapter was a bit more humerous than most of them. _Well, _if we're being entirely honest here, maybe it just had some funny bits. It was by no means a comedy. I guess well just settle on... feel-good. How's that work? I surprise myself constantly with this thing. I really LOATHE angst, and parts of it don't make much sense. It really needs more revising. But what the hell. I'll post it anyway. Please don't make too much fun of me. And no. Inuyasha's hair color will not change. He will not turn into a demon again. He was Adrian Hasayuni (Anyone notice the anagram? It's almost spelled backwards, but I had to switch the last two constanants for it to make some sense.) for quite some time, and is firmly a human. However, I think the tetsusaiga will still work for him though. I'll have to think on why exactly that is though.

A/N/N: Thanks to all the kind people who reviewed! And- Avelyn Lauren- that was a pretty long one too. I think you set a new record. Also- sorry for the short chapter. But I didn't think I'd even be able to post today at all, it was just a lucky quirk that my grandma decided to go to see Harry Potter with my mom, and vacated the computer room. (WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS TO MAKE THE COMPUTER ROOM AND GUEST BEDROOM THE SAME PLACE?) So yeah. I'm still undecided about some things (Bad me. I really should have this all mapped out- it would make more sense that way...), and so the present and feudal era haven't quite connected yet. But they will next chapter. I think. I really shouldn't draw this out much longer...

A/N/N/N: How many N's do I need. Heh. Heh. Sorry about the long A/N. It's almost ¾ of a page on my word-processor. ("And that children, is what we call, IRONY. Say it with me... I-ER-KNEE.")


	8. I Hate Myself

**A QUESTION OF INCARNATION**

Chapter 8: I Hate Myself

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, any of the charecters, or any of the plotlines. Only the source of many headaches you unfortunately (for you) see below.

The night was quiet. Inuyasha could relate to it, having spent a previous lifetime of nights almost identical to this one, but more recent experiences meant that the night, although comforting in it's silence, still managed to put him on edge. 'City slicker.' He thought to himself, trying to prevent himself from jumping when he rolled onto a small twig and it cracked underneath his weight. He kind of wished he could have just slept in some tree, but the ability to jump any more than 3 feet (on a good day, with a running start, and no pole-vault stick) in the air had been lost to him. He kind of thought that he'd just fall out anyway from the recent lack of practice. All things considered, the feudal era was probably less dangerous than the time he had come from (no guns, no tanks, you name it), but that didn't mean he wasn't still restless.

He finger unconsciously played with a thread working loose from the binding on the tetsusaiga. He rolled over in his sleeping bag, eyes resting on the small form sleeping on the other side of the fire. Inuyasha contented himself, as he had many times before, with simply watching her even breathing, the soft rise and fall of her chest. She shivered a bit, the fire barely staving off the evening chill. How he longed to just go over and touch her. Simply tuck that loose strand of hair behind her ear, smooth her wrinkled brow, tuck her sleeping bag around her form just a bit more. But the few feet in between them might as well have been lightyears, galaxies, a universe. He loathed himself at that moment.

_Shippo seemed disappointed at his reply. There was no surprise, only disappointment. But he agreed to tell Kagome anyway. "You know that she'll guess. She's not stupid." The kitsune warned him. _

_He became acutely interested in some small speck of dirt on his shoe. "Yeah. I do." He couldn't do this, he couldn't face her. What had started as a small, but grim, thought, a far-fetched scenario at best, had turned into crippiling doubt, paralyzing him. 'What if she hates me for leaving her behind?' 'What if she thinks I've been avoiding her?' 'What if she blames me for not showing up until now?' 'What if... what she said... wasn't true?' He could see her face clearly, tears falling from her glistening eyes and onto his own bloody face. 'What if it was only the shock, the grief, talking?' 'What if... **she just felt sorry for me**?' He couldn't do this. He slowly turned and walked away, cursing at his own cowardice. 'Gimme' a demon anyday. At least I can see what I'm up against then.' He knew it was the wrong thing to do, but somehow he couldn't stop himself. He turned the corner, watching the small cracks in the sidewalk disappear under his worn Etnies. And tried to ignore the renewed sobs echoing behind him, killing him more effectively than any blow._

_He regretted his decision the moment he made it. Kagome found him in his room later that evening. He had made no effort to hide from her. Inuyasha laid on his temporary bed, staring at the ceiling, his sword resting in his lap. He nodded, acknowledging her presence as she took a seat on the edge of the foot of his bed. He still couldn't meet her eyes, but her own were focused on her hands as she played with her fingers. The silence between them was deafening. Kagome finally broke it._

"_I think I always knew it was you, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. When Shippo told me to take you with me to go back to the feudal era, all that was just confirmation. After you... died... all I wanted was to join you. I cursed myself, my helplessness, how you always had to protect me. If I was just stronger, I thought, you might not have had to sacrifice yourself. I didn't go to school for weeks, I wasn't even able to talk to my own family about it for a month. I still haven't gone out on a date, even though I've been asked more than a few times. You meant that much to me."_

_The bottom dropped out of his stomach. He noticed the past tense there: "meant". This was exactly what he was afraid of. He stayed silent though._

"_I never did forget your promise you made to me. I guess what I was doing, more than anything else, was waiting. And after so long, I think I was starting to give up hope. That was when I really mourned you. I could no longer deny that were really gone, and I had nothing to look forward to."_

_He had no idea he had put her through that much agony._

"_You were so much to me. And when you died, it was like a part of me had been ripped away. I no longer felt whole, not having you there. But I've been doing a lot of thinking. And I guess, the only thing that made any sense to me, was that, I guess..."_

_Oh God. She was stammering. Repeating herself. This can't be good._

"_...You were never the person I thought you were if you couldn't even work up the courage to come talk to me. You said...you said..."_

_His heart was breaking. He couldn't take this. The silent tears streaming down her face. The way she wrung her hands. That small hurt voice. He sat up, to get a better look at her, while trying not to draw attention to himself. She thankfully didn't look up from her hands._

"_...You said you trusted me. Maybe you regretted protecting me that day. Maybe you simply didn't care. Maybe you found someone else. But it doesn't matter, Inuyasha, because I loved you, but I don't know if that's true anymore. I don't even think I can trust you if you can't confide in me."_

_'Somebody, please, just shoot me now.'_

"_If you still feel like going with, I'll meet you in the well house tommorow at three. It's your choice if you want to come. I'll go either way."_

_She didn't slam the door. She didn't yell at him. She didn't slap him, she didn't even glare. Just those small tears running down her cheeks, from eyes covered by those dark, glossy bangs. She didn't look at him the whole time either. And somehow those hurt more than every wound he had ever gotten. Somehow, someway, they had gotten through all the rough spots before. But he knew this would not happen this time. He had hurt her so many times, it had been a miracle that she had ever trusted him in the first place. But he still loved that little girl in the green skirt, and he couldn't just walk away. He had started this. And he had f'ed up the second chance that he hadn't even dared to dream of. But he had to finish it. Even if she never looked at him again, he would still follow her. Protect her however he could. Maybe grant her some peace. Release her from the guilt, the remorse. And he owed Sango and Miroku._

_And yet, these were all rationalizations, even if they were true. It was something deeper than that, something he had no right to. Some small part of him still hoped for the happy ending he had just given up all claim to. There was no logic to back it up. Maybe it was just that he had spent so much of his life, even if he didn't consciously know it, looking for her, yearning for her, that he couldn't just give it up. It was amazing how an act so simple, not being able to talk to her, had caused so much harm. Little things like that tended to cause a lot of the problems in his life. The world could be cruel._

A small spark soared up from the fire and into the night air, glowing brightly, defying the limitations imposed upon it. Looking for something more. A small orange star against the blackness of the night. And then, just as quickly, it was gone, snuffed out. 'Damn metaphors.' With one last glance at Kagome's sleeping form he buried his head in his sleeping bag and tried not to cry. 'I'm getting so soft these days...' He cursed himself. He hated himself. He loathed himself. And he knew he totally deserved it as well.

A/N: T.T So sad. Why is this so angsty? Why? WHY? I don't like angst. This is romance dammit! So why is everything so sad? So Inuyasha's not alone. I hate myself too... But you should see the fluffy end scene that keeps playing through my mind! It's wonderful! But this... (grimaces). You must all think I'm some kind of sadist... but I'm a humorous person! I only read romance fics (most of the time). WHY DOES THIS FLOW FROM MY DEMENTED FINGERS?

Legato (The blue-haired psychopath of Trigun. We all have our days, he has a lifetime.): Welcome to the sadist club! Glad to have ya'!

IHEC: That was a bit of an oxymoron.

Legato: Fine. The world is a dreary place. There is no such thing as true love. Expect nothing- it will all be taken away in the end. Is that better?

IHEC: (glares) Arm-stealer. YOU STOLE VASH'S ARM AND STUCK IT ON YOURSELF!

(Lots of flashing red lights and speakers screaming: "PERV ALERT! PERV ALERT!")

Legato: But Master Knives! His brother wouldn't stand by his side so I must!

IHEC: So you steal his brother's arm and stick it on yourself cuz Vash doesn't feel like slaughtering the whole human race?

Legato: Duh.

IHEC: (Rolls eyes and steal's Wolfwood's cross punisher) I know you wear cookie monster boxers! Confess!

Legato: (clutching ratty blue teddy-bear) You! You! You ratted on me Mr. Fuzzum-Wuzzums!

IHEC: I think I'm going to go find some discrete corner to go throw up in... (lurches off looking rather green)

Okay. So maybe it's a bit obvious I like Trigun better. Sorry about that... heh. heh. (tugs collar). Anywho, sorry about the late update. I was going to prepare a nice little fanart site to link to this. But, I tried 4 FREAKING SITES and none of them worked. (Anybody got any suggestions? Much appreciated) And I'm a really good artist too. And I'm not just saying that. Lots of people do. I had one guy threaten to shove he off a hill, take my picture from me, and then run around and tell everyone he drew it. So there. (pauses) Maybe I will take Legato up on his invintation...


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